Thursday, August 22, 2013

Enjoy your Life Better - Change Your Point of View

I am a big bigger in simple things. If I am upset over a phone call I have to remind myself that once I am off the phone with them, they don't know how I feel. I could happy, sad, piss off, but they don't know right?
Here is a great quote that fits this idea:
"Two men look out through the same bars: One sees the mud, and one sees the stars."- Frederick Langbridge, A Cluster of Quiet Thoughts
Now think about this if you’ve placed second in a spelling bee contest, would you jump for joy and push for better results the next time or will you be discouraged and find an excuse not to join again? Its a shame that many feel there is no need to be better than second place.
But you know, in life, you are always filled with choices. You may opt to have a pessimist’s view and live a self-defeated life or you may decide to take the optimist’s route and take a challenging and fulfilling life. Sometimes it is really easy to take a pessimist point of view, I know I live with two guys who hardly ever see the bright side of anything. :( But I try to change their minds as much as possible.

So why nurture an optimist’s point of view? And why now?
The world is filled with negative thoughts, feelings, pissoff people.. I for one don't like to be that way. Because I have the feeling that if I am being negative, I am drawing more negative to me. Don't understand what I mean? Ok when was the last time you got out of bed 'on the wrong side'? The whole day started off wrong, the car won't start, you are late for work, the favortite place to eat was too full, your boss got pissed off at you for something.. you know what most feel Monday's are like.. :P

Well, optimism has been linked to positive mood and good morale; to academic, athletic, military, occupational and political success; to popularity; to good health and even to long life and freedom from trauma. If you feel good about what you are doing, you are more willing to do more right?

But then on the other hand, the rates of depression and pessimism have never been higher. It affects middle-aged adults the same way it hits younger people. The mean age of onset has gone from 30 to 15. It is no longer a middle-aged housewife’s disorder but also a teen-ager’s disorder’ as well. One of my son's friends killed herself, she was 25 years old. So yeah depression, and sadness is hitting the kids at a younger age than ever.
Why be optimited then?
Here’s how optimists are in action and researches that back up why it really pays to be an optimist:

Optimists expect the best.
I tend to try and wake up thinking about good things to happen and go to bed hoping that good things will happen the next day. I read somewhere you need to be kinder to yourself. Starting off your morning thinking postive does help.

The defining characteristic of pessimists is that they tend to believe bad events, which will last a long time and undermine everything they do, are their own fault. My hubby is like this. :( and so is my son which is why sometimes it is really hard to be postive.

The truth is optimists are confronted with the same hard knocks of this world. What differs is the way they explain their misfortune---it’s the opposite way. They tend to believe defeat is just a temporary setback, that its causes are confined to this one case.

Optimists tend to focus on and plan for the 'problem' at hand. They use 'positive reinterpretation.' In other words, they most likely reinterpret a negative experience in a way that helps them learn and grow. Such people are unfazed by bad situation, they perceive it is a challenge and try harder.

They won’t say “things will never get better,” “If I failed once, it will happen again” and “If I experience misfortune in one part of my life, then it will happen in my whole life.” I tend to look at things and think, what can I learn from my mistake?

Positive expectancies of optimists also predict better reactions during transitions to new environments, sudden tragedies and unlikely turn of events. If they fall, they will stand up. They see opportunities instead of obstacles.
 Chicken Soup for the Soul: Think Positive: 101 Inspirational Stories about Counting Your Blessings and Having a Positive Attitude

Theses are really great books  by the author of Chicken Soup for the Soul.. They got lots of great books that will fit in any budget and for just about anyone!
Have a great weekend everyone!

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